I am going to wash my hair now and my hair has never been this good so I took a picture for posterity. Pray for me that it will be equally lustrous tomorrow.
I am off to London tomorrow to see some people that I can tolerate really well, so my queue will be entertaining you until Friday evening.
Also, I’m free in London and probably on my own from 11am until 4pm on Friday, so if any of my followers are also free in London from 11am until 4pm and don’t have a history of violent crime, hit me up!! (Not literally, I did just specify no history of violent crime)
Grantaire is well-versed in the language of flowers. Enjolras isn’t. Which clearly means that Grantaire should act on his ridiculous crush and send him bouquets with hidden messages, right? It’s only logical.
Liam and I came up with an idea for the most cutting-edge detective series ever. Get this, right: the main guy, see, he’s like a maverick, really jaded and grizzled and cynical and attractive, and he has this redhead assistant, only she’s totally spunky and witty and also bisexual (so she makes out with loads of hot women, but it’s not like, voyeuristic or gratuitous, it’s just equal opportunities, you know?) and it’s totally unique and it’s never been done before. It breaks all boundaries. It’s avant-garde, exciting. Left-field. Daring. Bold. Brave. We might even throw in a sassy ethnic assistant who has a homoerotic friendship with the protagonist. You know, for representation. It’ll be a ratings smash.
I accidentally put my visage into half sepia and then I realised that it made my hair look softer than the first touch of two lovers reunited unexpectedly on a train platform after years apart, so I kept it
I don’t really have anything to say except my hair looked great today, like A+ tip top funky fresh, and also I’m about 60% sure that something awful might be about to happen but I am taking preventative measures to stop the thing from occurring (I am eating so much chocolate that I feel a bit sick and am changing my bedsheets)
Also, my coworker is in Paris. I am not in Paris. That hardly seems fair, does it?
Have you ever been to Paris?! I’m asking just out of curiosity. I don’t intend on tracing your footsteps and finding all the dead cells you shed there. Haha. I wouldn’t. No.
A moment of respect for the best of my Facebook statuses over the years.
When I get home, I might make a little video of me reading one of those short stories wot I wrote once
I also might not, but I might
so be on the look out for that, or alternatively don’t be
also I’m trying to do a VAT return and it’s not working at all as I planned and so I’m going to hold a pen really tightly in my fist for a few seconds because that will definitely help. It can’t help any less than what I’m doing right now (sitting and staring at a list of paperwork I need but don’t have)
I hope you are all having a tip-top Tuesday and that you woke up this morning with a spring in your step and joy in your heart and money in your bank account and a sense of purpose in your soul
In my life so far, I have met someone called James Kirk and someone called Edward Cullen. I won’t stop until I’ve met a human being with the name of every brown-haired protagonist in a culturally important and commercially successful franchise. Hannibal is next on my list.
Guys I’m going to die because I was looking through old files and I found this on my hard drive and whaaaaaaaaaaaat
I was a bit ill one day and I ended up writing this and it takes place on a spaceship that’s crashed into a crop field in Luxembourg and it’s about aliens who want to live on the moon and the aliens have named themselves after important cultural figures on Earth and they basically embody their namesakes because they’ve assimilated all their knowledge and personality
and I totally forgot about it until today and
I should not be allowed near computers when I’m delirious on Lemsip oh my GOD I’m dfg;sfdihgt
Fun things: the gender neutral pronouns you end up using when trying to describe your dating history to people you don’t know that well because you don’t know how tolerant they may or may not be
Oh wait, it’s not fun at all, is it
I have a lot of messages to reply to and I will reply to them I will I really will but at the moment I think I am going to go to bed and maybe make myself into a circle under the duvet because that’s always quite nice isn’t it
It’s OK. I don’t blame you. Mum bought the wrapping paper cheap at the supermarket. It was a good deal. It makes total sense that you’d use the same stuff, right? It was such a bargain. I bet you always loved bargains. Having to buy all those toys for all those kids. You must’ve got at least some on a BOGOF, bought a few on a buy-three-for-the-price-of-two deal. Yeah, it makes sense. The wrapping paper was just a bargain. I bet everyone used it that year. My mum. My dad. You. It’s fine. It makes total sense.